Say it like it is

I’m thinking back to a former colleague. A team assistant who had everything under control: reliable, structured, loyal. She was our rock in everyday office life – but at some point, she withdrew. She seemed disappointed because she realized she wasn’t getting anywhere. For a long time, she had hoped for a promotion that never came, despite her consistently good performance.

Looking back, it became clear to me: What held her back wasn’t her skills – it was how she came across. She seemed insecure, in her words, in her attitude. The lack of self-assurance is why her supervisor didn’t have trust in her ability to manage other assistants.

Do you also know the feeling of not being perceived as you should?

Maybe it’s not (just) about your performance, but also about how you express and carry yourself. It’s often completely harmless, everyday words that make you seem insecure, even when you’re well prepared.

Let’s talk about the words that quietly sabotage your impact, how to replace them and use your body to show up with ease, clarity, and confidence.

9 Phrases That Hurt Your Impact at Work

1️⃣ “I just wanted to ask…” – The classic self-diminishing line

This introduction sounds harmless, but words like “just,” “briefly,” “actually,” or “I wanted to…” signal: What I’m about to say isn’t that important. I’m just interrupting for a moment. I’m not taking up much space.

Alternative:

Instead, state clearly what you need:

👉 “I have a question about point XY.”

👉 “I’d like to clarify this before we continue.”

You don’t have to apologize. You’re not interrupting but rather contributing as a valuable part of the team. Own that.

2️⃣ “This might be a stupid idea, but…” – Self-sabotage with warning

If you devalue your ideas even before expressing them, you’re denying them any chance of success. No one will think you’re arrogant just for making a suggestion. But you’ll come across as insecure if you justify yourself beforehand.

Alternative:

👉 “I have an idea that might help us move forward…”

👉 “Can I throw out a thought?”

Courage is contagious. And who knows, you might just be initiating an important discussion.

3️⃣ “That’s not my job.” – The Team Killer

Admittedly, sometimes tasks really are not part of job description. However, you can point it out in a different way and make all the difference. Blocking someone immediately sends the message: I’m not willing to think outside the box. That sticks.

Alternative:

👉 “That’s not my area of ​​expertise yet, but I’m happy to contribute if it helps.”

👉 “I don’t have much experience in this area, but I’m open to learning.”

👉 “Perhaps I can make a contact or contribute an idea.”

You don’t have to take on everything, but a certain openness will get you further than mental barriers and help you get out of your comfort zone.

4️⃣ “That’s how we’ve always done it.” – The Innovation Brake

This statement sounds like you do not want to leave your comfort zone and that you are far from being open to new ideas. In a constantly changing working world, adaptability is a key skill. Considering  other perspectives and ideas, does not automatically mean that you have to embrace them.  However, it opens up new possibilities which might be worth pursuing.

Alternative:

👉 “I’m open to new approaches. What exactly would you suggest?”

👉 “Let’s compare which approach is more efficient.”

👉”Why not? Let’s talk about it

Change is frightening, unsettling, and uncomfortable, but it’s also an opportunity. Show that you can think flexibly and are open to suggestions.

5️⃣ “I know this might sound strange…”  – WHY?

When start your sentence like this, you are already labelling it in a negative way. You give the other person license not to take your feedback, comment or idea all too seriously.

Alternative:

👉 “I noticed something I’d like to address.”

👉 “I think this is something we should look into.”

Speaking plainly isn’t a lack of politeness, but a sign of respect. Even for yourself.

6️⃣ “Sorry to ask…” – No! Just ask.

Too often, we apologize for things that are perfectly legitimate. Asking shows that you’re interested and are participating in discussions responsibly and thoroughly.

Alternative:

👉 “I have one more question about that…”

👉 “What exactly do you mean by that? I want to make sure I understand correctly.”

You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to want to know something. You’re allowed to be visible.

7️⃣ “I feel that…” – When feelings replace facts

Of course, it’s good to have feelings. But at work, statements like “I have the feeling this isn’t working” is vague. Your co-workers cannot take such a sentence seriously because there no concrete aspects supporting it.

Alternative:

👉 “The numbers show that…”

👉 “I have this impression based on XY – what do you think?”

Combine your gut feeling with facts; only then will your statement become comprehensible.

8️⃣ “Do you understand what I mean?” – The Uncertainty Signal Light

This reassurance at the end of a sentence sounds like: I’m not sure I expressed that well. There are times when follow-up questions are absolutely useful, but not as a standard phrase after every other sentence.

Alternative:

👉 “I’m happy to explain the point again if necessary.”

👉 “Are there any questions about that?” – Short, clear, confident.

Speak as if you’ll be heard. Then you will be heard.

9️⃣ “I don’t want an argument” – The trap of avoiding conflict

People that avoid confrontations, tend to keeping quiet about their opinions, changing the subject, or withdrawing from uncomfortable situations. However,  the inner tension stays and doesn’t go away until the cards are on the table.

It’s okay to have differences of opinion. The trick is to express them clearly and respectfully, without over-dramatizing.

Alternative:

👉 “We see things differently, let’s analyze which solution makes more sense for our goal.”

👉 “I see that our working methods are different: how can we still work together? What will it take for us to continue the project in a constructive manner?”

👉 “I see things differently, but I’m willing to find a compromise.”

Conflict management is not a weakness. It’s a leadership trait.

Your words shape your inner and outer stand, as well as the way others see you.

In your career, they can open or close doors for you. They can build trust or sow mistrust. They can make you visible or overshadow you.

How to Strengthen Your Self-Presence with Your Body

Body language has an outward and inward impact. Vera F. Birkenbihl sums it up perfectly in her book “Communication Training” (exlibris.ch/…/kommunikationstraining):

 
„Genauso wie ungute Gefühle uns veranlassen, negative Körpersignale zu senden, können positive Signale, zu denen wir uns zwingen, positive Gefühle hervorrufen.“
(Just as uncomfortable emotions prompt us to send negative body signals, deliberately sending positive signals can generate positive feelings.)

 

In other words: When you stand up straight, breathe calmly, and consciously take up space, you send a strong signal not only to the person you’re talking to, but also to yourself. You program yourself internally for presence, clarity, and self-confidence.

Need a reset before a big moment? These quick moves will ground you, fast.

Here are a few very simple physical and mental mini-exercises that you can use before meetings, presentations, or important conversations:

1. Feel the ground beneath your feet and gently sway.

Stand for a moment with your feet hip-width apart. Shift your weight slightly forward, backward, and to the side; find your center of gravity. Feel: I’m standing. I am here.

2. Upright, but not tense posture.

Open your chest without stiffening. Imagine you’re opening your heart and mind. This way, you’ll be present. (Also read: https://budo-coaching.ch/en/body-language-counts-better-standing-stronger-impact/)

3. Breathe, don’t rush.

Consciously inhale deeply, down to your belly, and exhale slowly. Repeat this two or three times. Calm breathing immediately affects your voice, your focus, and your presence.

4. Speak from your body.

Imagine that your words are coming from your center (e.g., your belly) rather than from your head. This changes your tone, posture, and charisma. Your statements will sound clearer and more confident, without you having to emphasize them. (Also read: Finding Your Voice and Using It Successfully: Here’s How!)

Ready for the takeaway? Here’s the bottom line. Don’t belittle yourself!

Many typical “no-gos” in communication are simply language patterns that weaken your impact. If you consciously abandon them, your communication will sound clearer, stronger, and more present.

This is not arrogance. It’s self-respect and just showing what you are capable of. (Also read “Confidence as a Job Booster vs. Arrogance and Insecurity.”).

💪Your work is important.

🧠Your opinion counts.

💡Your words have an impact.

Do you want to increase your impact at work? We're happy to support you! 

👉 Coaching inquiries are welcome! Get in touch to find out more