And What You Can Do About It

Recently, I met three former colleagues for dinner. We haven’t worked together for over ten years and see each other roughly once a year. And yet: the moment we sit down together, that warmth is immediately there again. That sense of familiarity. As if hardly any time had passed at all.

It’s a connection that was genuinely built at some point – and one that holds because it was real. Back then, in our HR team, we truly felt like we belonged.

That kind of connection is something many people are missing at work today.

What the Numbers Tell Us

The latest «State of the Global Workplace 2026» report from Gallup confirms this picture worldwide: around 22 percent of employees feel lonely on a daily basis. And here comes the perhaps most surprising finding: remote employees, at 23 percent, are barely higher than hybrid and on-site workers, who both sit at around 22 percent.

Where you work makes almost no difference.

That doesn’t surprise me. It reflects what I observe in many of my clients: they work in teams, they function, they’re plugged into meetings, calls, and chats. And yet they feel alone.

The obvious explanations often fall short.

Is Working From Home to Blame?

Sometimes, yes – I know this from personal experience. When I moved from Germany to Switzerland, I worked from home for about a year and a half. At first it was convenient. But over time it grew quieter. Heavier. I missed my team, the casual exchange, even just a quick coffee in between.

And that’s when I realised: it’s not just about where you work. Something else is at play in the background.

Of course, less physical contact can amplify loneliness. But the data points to something more important: it doesn’t matter whether you’re sitting in the office or at home. What matters is how deep your connections really go – who you work with and how.

You can sit in the office and still feel invisible. And you can work from home and feel genuinely connected. The difference lies in whether you show up. Whether you let yourself be seen.

Proximity Is Not the Same as Connection

You can spend all day surrounded by people and still feel deeply isolated.

Because real belonging doesn’t come from mere presence – it happens in the moments when you truly feel seen: when someone listens and follows up, when your contribution is acknowledged, when a glance or a brief comment says «I see you» – and you sense that what you’re offering is actually landing.

Belonging Is Not a Nice-to-Have

Feeling like you belong is a fundamental human need. As social beings, we depend on being part of a community. Evolutionarily speaking, belonging was a matter of survival. Being excluded was a serious problem.

That programme is still running today. Our nervous system is constantly scanning: Am I seen? Am I respected? Am I safe?

And yet we don’t always perceive these signals objectively. We don’t see what is – we see what we’ve been conditioned to expect.

Taking the Warning Signs Seriously

Loneliness at work rarely announces itself. It creeps in.

You notice it when you lose the desire to contribute. When you get irritated more quickly. When you withdraw. Or when you quietly quit – in your mind– while still showing up.

If you recognise this in yourself: take it seriously. Don’t dramatise it, but don’t push it aside either. Rather do something about it.

Take a typical situation as an example:

You’re in a meeting. You have an idea. You feel that brief impulse to share it – and then comes the second thought: «Better not. It’s probably not good enough.»

So you say nothing. What happens next? Business as usual. Nobody reacts. Nobody brings you in. And your internal system confirms its belief: «See? I’m not valued».

The problem isn’t the situation. The problem is the moment you hold yourself back.

That’s exactly where self-assertion begins: as a small, clear step forward.

Three Practical Steps for Everyday Life

1. You get interrupted

• Old response: You withdraw.
• New response: «I wasn’t finished yet – let me just complete that thought.» Clear. Calm. No justification needed.

2. You disagree

• Old response: You go along with it.
• New response: «I see it differently – let me briefly explain why». Not aggressive. But clear.

3. You want to connect

• Old response: You wait for someone to approach you.
• New response: «Hey, I’m grabbing a coffee – want to join?» Those are exactly the moments where connection is made.

What the Dojo Has to Do With It

I have been training and teaching martial arts for many years – and at some point I realised that what I learn in the dojo flows directly into my coaching. I bring together martial arts philosophy with leadership and personal development, and that’s exactly why my work happens in the dojo, on the mat.

In the dojo, we learn something that’s often missing at work: real contact. It’s not about small talk or functional collaboration. It’s about moments where you genuinely connect with someone – in the literal and figurative sense.

You feel how someone responds. You learn to hold space while staying present. You practise showing up – even when it doesn’t feel safe straight away.

Those experiences leave a mark that stays.

Why a Budo Group Coaching Can Help You

Change only happens when your body has new experiences. When you feel: «I can show up – and nothing bad happens.» Or even: «I’m being heard.» «I can stand up for myself.»

That’s why I work in small groups: the setting is more intensive, and the group itself is part of what makes it work.

You quickly realise: you’re not the only one dealing with these challenges. Others know exactly that feeling – the moment of doubt when you hold back, even though you have something to say. That mutual recognition creates something important: connection. And it’s through the sharing, the honest feedback, and the collective practice that relationships form – ones that last well beyond the weekend.

In my groups, we work through the body: posture, movement, presence – and what these reveal about your inner attitude. We work on clear, grounded movement. On boundaries you don’t just talk about – but embody. You step into situations, try things out, and receive immediate feedback. What you take home: more clarity in how you show up, a stronger sense of your own boundaries, and the lived experience that visibility is possible – and that it’s partly up to you to take that step towards your colleagues with more courage.

In a Nutshell

Loneliness at work is not a marginal issue – and it’s not simply a question of working from home or being in the office.

It often grows in exactly the place where we hold ourselves back.

The good news: you can change that. In our self-assertion course, you learn to show up – clearly, confidently, and without losing yourself.