Your voice is the tool for successful communication - also in self-defence Your voice is…
Confident through life: how to put an end to your helplessness
Lisa is a teacher – she has several years of professional experience behind her, but she hasn’t felt as exhausted as she does now in a long time. She feels that her job has become more difficult, complains about a lack of respect towards her, and is overwhelmed.
It’s no secret that the teaching profession comes with several challenges. From lesson preparation, to student care and handling conflict situations, teachers face a variety of tasks on a daily basis. These demands can lead to overwhelm and frustration, especially when it comes to establishing authority and respect in the classroom.
She found the Budo method and our solution-oriented approach intriguing and decided to give it a try.
What touches the mind also touches the body, and vice versa.
Instead of entering the classroom feeling drained and angry, she sought an effective solution to strengthen her presence, rebalance her energy levels, and above all, improve her influence on the students. During the coaching sessions, we focused on her body posture in detail and practiced mental strategies that now have an impact on her overall demeanour, helping her to act and assert herself confidently in front of the class.
She took action, seeking a way to free herself from the pressure she felt in her body—a constant tension that prevented her to feel at ease.
Lisa was trapped in a negative spiral. She constantly looked back at her previous position and regretted having had to change it over a year ago. She complained day in and day out about the decisions made by the administration, was annoyed by the meaningless timetable and the numerous cases of illness, and above all, struggled to control class 3a. The more she focused on these circumstances, the more helpless, powerless and desperate she felt.
However, focusing on the things we have control over allows us to become more self-assured and calm.
What lies within our power?
- Thoughts and attitude:
By directing our thoughts and developing a solution-oriented mindset, we can influence our perception of the world and our reactions to specific situations.
- Actions and behaviour:
By focusing on our actions and consciously cultivating constructive attitude, we can positively influence our daily lives.
- Goals and priorities:
Setting goals and priorities enables us to use our resources efficiently and direct our energy towards the things that matter to us. By focusing on and actively pursuing them, we gain clarity and self-determination.
In our coaching course, Lisa began to detach herself from what was beyond her sphere of influence. She realized that she had been dwelling too much on the past and troubled her mind with things she couldn’t control.
We cannot change what has happened in the past; we can only learn from it. By focusing too much on what could have been in the past, we waste energy. Unfortunately, we often fall into the trap of rumination or spend too much time pondering the behaviour and words of others, which get stuck in our hearts like arrows.
👉We feel helpless and controlled by external factors because we have no way to change anything. This can lead to frustration, stress and despair.
👉We waste precious resources. Our attention is diverted from other important things that we can actually have an impact on.
👉We doubt whether we are doing enough and whether we are capable of achieving our goals. Automatically, we become insecure, lacking self-confidence and conviction.
When we direct our thoughts towards positive actions and solutions, progress is made. True control lies in our ability to maintain our attention and presence in the present moment. By focusing on what we can influence and change.
3 behavioural patterns that help straight away
1️⃣ Accepting and letting go:
Accept the things that happen beyond your control, acknowledge your feelings, as the mind wants to understand and analyse, but do not hold onto them.
2️⃣ Making conscious decisions:
Take the time you need to make conscious decisions and set priorities. Identify the things that matter to you and invest your energy in them.
3️⃣ Mindfulness and self-reflection:
Consciously observe your thoughts and reactions. Acknowledge when you get caught in negative spirals and redirect your attention to alternatives. Focus on what is achievable, and you will handle life’s challenges more effectively, experiencing self-efficacy, which in turn leads to inner peace and stability.
The mindset and thoughts we engage with on a daily basis have an impact on our body – neuroscience has long proven that. The reverse is also true: our mind can be strengthened through the body.
Certain exercises that we practice in group coaching, for example, involve holding the same position for several minutes – all muscles are tense. In doing so, we challenge our endurance and build both muscular and mental strength. However, stretching and relaxation exercises afterward are equally important components of the training. If we were in a constant state of tension, we would only create stress: pressure, therefore stress, overwork, and overwhelm.
Often, we don’t realize that in our daily lives, we respond to pressure with even more pressure. We react with resistance, tense up, and consequently remain constantly tense. However, if we only tense up, movement will lack balance. We will not experience Yin and Yang.
Do you continuously doubt your abilities, compare yourself to others, or focus on what isn’t working? This puts you under pressure to perform. For Lisa, it was primarily about releasing the stiffness from her body to bring in new energy flow. It was about clarifying her posture.
- What do I do with and what do I not?
- What can I change, and what can I not?
- What bothers me about a situation?
- What can I learn from it?
- How can I grow if I view the situation from a different perspective?
When we create distance from burdensome events, release the pressure within us, we expand our physical and mental capacities, find solutions, and regain our ability to take action. Once we operate within balance, handle and move within the waves of tension and relaxation, effort and letting go, we experience Yin and Yang.